How do you cope with the phase 4/5/6 blues?

#1

I feel like paying off debt aggressively was sort of a hobby. How do you cope with the loss of a very old, (although very negative) relationship with debt? Is this weird?

I know that many people are in different phases of their FI plan, and honestly, the paying off debt part was way more exciting than the “long game phase” of saving for retirement, paying off the mortgage, and saving for kid’s college fund.

I’m coming from a place of privilege, and being consumer debt-free with the exception of a mortgage is a huge milestone and goal for many people. The mile marker for this was sort of a dud for me.

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#2

I thought it was fun to plow every cent I could into my 401k when the stock market was down in April, May and June. It was like shopping at my favorite store with everything on sale.

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#3

Hey @RetSCPO!

Hm… I would definitely calculate your net worth. There’s also tools like Personal Capital which can automate this for you.

Then I would start drawing some lines in the sand. How are you from $100K? $1M? Figure out your retirement number. How long until you get there? Once you’re there, you’ve crossed over into “work optional.”

And I guess on a more cerebral level, it’s important to realize that money is never the solution to the happiness problem. When I became wealthy, I realized that while being poor sucks. And getting out of that trap makes life significantly better. Once you’re there, the opportunities to trade money for happiness are pretty few and far between. (not confusing happiness with a very short lived endorphin boost when you burn money on something, but then feel just as empty afterwards). So remember that money is just a tool, and focus on relationships, fitness, freedom, growth, progress. I think those are things that really can bring happiness. And working on those when you’re not broke is a lot easier.

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#4

@Jeremy thank you for replying!
Reading your response made me do a double take. I was thinking, “why does he think I’m unhappy?” and then I realized that my post TOTALLY sounds unhappy!
I sort of forgot why I was working on FI. It wasn’t for the sake of paying off debt, it was so that I would have more resources for more of what I really love. I’ve been so focused on getting out of debt that somewhere along the way I forgot the “why”.

Thanks again for the refocus!

#5

Haha. I wasn’t really suggesting you weren’t happy. But I do think that every human is basically on a lifelong quest to find and maintain happiness. And most correlate that with money “if I were rich, then…” kind of thinking. So when some people start to get there, and don’t find the happiness pot of gold, they ask questions like yours.

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#6

Two thumbs up from a therapist! :two_hearts:

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